I’m on another new adventure
I’m in Costa Rica for my friends wedding
Surprisingly, I had a lot of hesitations and mixed feelings about the trip
I just spent 6 weeks working in a northern Ontario aboriginal community. It was amazing but quite isolating, and honestly I was really looking forward to be back living in my cozy van and getting psyched for the upcoming ice climbing season.
I’m a snowy mountain person. But for some reason, the unplanned opportunistic trips always seem to bring me to distant beautiful tropical places. Fijiji, Dominica and now Costa Rica all provided me with time and space to be with myself, reflect and deeply appreciate life.
Arriving in Costa Rica brought back pain from a previous relationship. Seeing him, I immediately wanted to cry. I didn’t know who he was anymore. But, he doesn’t know who I am either. I was going to say I’ve changed, but actually I’ve just come home to myself. Ive come closer to my soul, my heart. I’ve strengthened the relationship with my true self and I’m working on showing that self to the world.
I had become so disconnected from who I am and what I want in that relationship. I was stuck in feeling “this is so hard” and “I don’t know what to do.”
What I’ve learned is when you’re telling yourself - it’s so hard, I don’t know what to do, I hate this, I’m confused, I’m hurt, I’m mad…
Feel your feelings. Allow them to flow. Acknowledge their existence. Rather than shame yourself more for feeling such a way, and continually asking why! Why am I anxious? Why don’t I know? Stop the “why” questions. And just allow yourself to be. To feel. To flow.
Get in tune with your body. Where do you feel this?
Then send your breath there. Send love to that part of you. Acceptance. Hold and Hug that part of you.
Breathe.
Then ask yourself… what if it were easy? What if you did know what to do? What if you felt free? What if you felt joy? What would that look like? What would that future be? What would that future bring? Replace its so hard - and ask what if it were ____? Fill in the blank with however you wish it was.
Then visualize it. Go there in your mind. What if it were easy? Simple? Freeing? Loving? Joyful? Fun? Abundant? Adventurous? And feel it in your body. Feel it entirely. Feel it.
And then, you get to choose. Do you want to continue living in a space where life is so damn hard? Or, do you want to live in a space where it’s easy, simple, freeing.
Do you want to live in a space where life hurts so damn much? Or, do you want to live in a space where life brings immense love, joy, beauty, grace, abundance, connection, magic, synchronicities, opportunities, support, and guidance.
It’s your choice.
You can let the pain and challenges bring you down, or you can allow it to inspire you. You can allow the pain to flow through you and bring you back to joy, back home to yourself.
You get to choose your story.
You create your life.
Peace and Love,
Kirsten
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