Trusting What You Can't See

Sunday morning was peaceful, quiet and cold. I enjoyed lying in bed wrapped in sleeping bags. I took my time getting up.

As the sun began to shine through the trees, I put my boots on and ran down to the frozen lake to catch the sunrise.

The only sounds were the random cracks from the ice. I enjoyed the feeling of the sun on my face as it continued to shine brighter above the trees.

I thought maybe I would go explore the hills on the other side of the lake today.

I headed back to my van but felt tired. I made breakfast and did some studying for my ISA exam.

It was only the second day on my journey to Lake Superior, and I was already thinking about and planning how much I had to save to be able to go away again. To spend chunks of time away in the mountains. To get into nature more.

Contemplating whether I would need to get a job out west to be able to spend a few months in the mountains.

But I was already in a beautiful place. I had made it. Yet I wasn’t really here. I wasn’t present. I wasn’t appreciating where I had already got myself to.

Sometimes we get so caught up in thinking about whats next, how can I do this more, how can I get the freedom that I want, we often forget that the thing we are seeking might be right in front of us. We forget to enjoy what we have worked so hard for already.

Stop for a minute. And look around. You are already all the things that you want. You are free. You are joyful if you choose to feel it. To accept that what you are seeking is inside of you, you just need to remember your light, your soul. And appreciate where you are.

I didn’t really feel like getting out and exploring for some reason. I started to get frustrated with studying. My neck hurt. My body was sore. My keyboard died so I figured it was time to take a break.

I was getting really cold just sitting in the van. And started to feel kind of anxious. Unsure of what to do.

But anxiety maybe is a secret power at times.

It tells us something is off. If we choose not to let it overcome us and listen to our heart instead – it can help guide us.

I wanted to keep going onward with my journey.

I was pulled north towards Lake Superior.

I also learned that although something may seem perfect. May seem beautiful and wonderful. If we are being pulled in another direction that’s okay. That is our heart telling us there is more for us, there is something different for us. It doesn’t mean we don’t appreciate what’s in front of us. It just means that our soul is being pulled onward. We have more to see. More to learn. More to experience. Be grateful for where you’ve been. And move forward with trust and joy.

I soon realized that all the gas stations were closed along the highway. I turned around to head back and get gas before going up into the remoteness of the provincial park.

I stopped at the visitor center which was closed. A couple warned me that the park was remote and not many people would be up that way. The lady looked concerned and said a few times to be safe.

I then got my van stuck for second time on a pullout. A man helped me get my van out and I was back on the road. All we needed to do was use my shovel and some sand from the road.

I learned that sometimes we have all the tools we need to get through a difficult situation. We just need to remember that they’re there.

He assured me the park pull offs were plowed and I would be okay up there. He wished me well.

After getting gas and an extra tank of 20L, I felt excited. I felt on track. I felt in alignment with my soul.

I enjoyed the drive and stopped at the Agawa scenic lookout. Wow. It was incredible.

I decided to do the first trail a couple minutes down the road – Agawa pictographs. I met a lovely

couple from Toronto doing a road trip to Calgary. It was so nice to connect with others. This pandemic has created so much distance and disconnect – its not what our world needs. I believe we need connection more than ever.

My first hike was breath taking. Extraordinary. Simple. Beautiful.

I learned so much today.

I learned that when you get to a fork in a road – and think you may not have enough time to get there and to get back, it actually gets you closer to where you want to be. It really doesn’t take much time at all, but the experience changes you and gives you what you need to go on with joy, love, and connection.

Take the side roads sometimes – it may end up getting you closer to where you want to be

I also learned that sometimes we don’t have to fully see the message to know that it’s there. When I arrived at the stone canvas pictographs, i had to go down icy steps and then walk across steep rock leaning down towards Lake Superior to see the drawings.

I felt uncomfortable. It didn’t feel safe. I thought maybe I’d hold onto the rail and try to see what I could. I went down the steps, they were slick and covered in thick ice that had been baking in the sun all day. The ice of the lake cracked and there was no other sounds. No other people. Was it worth it to go further? To be on the edge of the icy coast?

I turned around and trusted that the pictographs were there, that they were beautiful and an incredible part of history. But did not need to see them in person to believe that they were there.

I just decided to trust instead.

The next time you are searching so hard to understand where a message is coming from, let go of seeing everything clearly, and trust that you are being guided. You are supported. Messages and guidance will come. But you don’t have to look for it. Trust that its there.

I drove back out to the Agawa scenic lookout to catch the sunset. A beautiful way to end the day.

Peace and Love,

Kirsten